


By his side

by DoctorFatCat



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Asexual Character, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Implied Sexual Content, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Non-Penetrative Sex, Sexuality Crisis, Showki, ShowkiMasterBingoChallenge, Slice of Life, Slow Dancing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-22 03:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17655254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorFatCat/pseuds/DoctorFatCat
Summary: "I had the greatest friend when i was a kid… and I got to keep him for the rest of my life."Card BPrompt: Tooth-Rotting Fluff





	By his side

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bluemoonrabbit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoonrabbit/gifts).



> Written with the font Ubuntu 10.5
> 
> HEY DARLING MINE HAVE THIS FIC FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON AT ALL AND HAVE A NICE DAY UWU endure this softness, you helped me make it soft.
> 
> This was inspired by a post that [Soft Showki](https://twitter.com/Soft_Showki) made, fulfilling my request, a long time ago lmao. (Ash, you're awesome)
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this, and please read the end notes. PLEASE, especially if you're bothered or offended by any of this.
> 
> (Also! I'd like to thank [Alex](https://twitter.com/kihyunshowho) for the song I've used in this. When I mentioned the scene, she said she had a perfect song for it, and it fit so well I couldn't not use it. update on this: apparently i got things messed up and this is a song i sent alex instead lmao, anyway)

If you asked Kihyun how long he had known Hyunwoo for, he’d answer forever. Before he was even born. He’d say their souls had known each other for ages. And maybe they had, but in this life, they had met at the ages of four and five. Memories from before they had met were wobbly, burry and mostly non existent, so saying a ‘forever’ as an answer to the question wasn’t really a stretch, no.

Kihyun had always been quite small for a boy. Fiery, loving, and undeniably cute, but small. And he had found a friend on an unexpected boy. The big kid from the grade above his, the one that was big even for his age, that the other kids made fun of for being weird, for being chubby and ‘not cute’. He was quiet, shy, and to little Kihyun, he was precious, like a big cuddly bear, only this one could help him solve his Pokemon puzzles. Sometimes those were _really_ difficult.

Hyunwoo was the quiet one. He was shy and awkward around others, but he was bright and smiley around Kihyun. He’d be all smiles and giggles for the younger boy, liking how he’d always say funny things or treat Hyunwoo like he was more than the big awkward kid who didn’t talk to almost anyone. To Kihyun he was any other kid, he was his best friend, his hyung, and to Kihyun he was still cute.

At the ages five and six, they decided they liked each other so _so_ much, that they didn’t want to ever be separated, and they made a pinky promise to get married when they were grown ups.

“Nunu, you have to promise you won’t find a bestest friend than me.” Kihyun had said, puffing his chest, his small chubby finger wrapped around Hyunwoo’s bigger one. “Or I’ll be very sad and we can’t get married.” He shook his head.

“Never, Ki. Never ever. You’re my best friend.” The older boy would smile so big his eyes would disappear, and Kihyun would tackle him in a hug.

As time went by, it seemed they really were inseparable. Elementary School came, and then Middle School, and it was still always Hyunwoo and Kihyun. Of course, they had other friends in their grades. Kihyun had this boy Minhyuk, who had fit right in with him, and they would talk sometimes like they shared a brain, and Hyunwoo had cute boy Hoseok, a little older than him but pouty like he was younger. The four of them would hang out sometimes, and got along well, but nothing could bring apart the hamster and the bear.

The kids were inseparable. Hyunwoo was the one to teach Kihyun how to tie his shoelaces, right after he had learned himself, and Kihyun would give him a kiss on the cheek in gratefulness for it, happy he knew how to make bunny ears with his shoelaces just like the grown ups did, and thanks to his bestest friend!

Late at night, when they had sleepovers, Hyunwoo would let Kihyun hold his bigger hand, and they’d talk about growing older and being together forever, completely unaware the world around them could try to take away their happiness.

Around ages nine and ten, they both had a grip on what the word ‘boyfriend’ meant, and adapted to it. They were lucky to not find themselves using it in public much, because maybe fate was on their side. Until it wasn’t, sadly, and they were scolded by the school’s principal, ages eleven and twelve, when said woman had heard them referring to each other as such. That was their first direct encounter with what they’d learn later to be homophobia.

After that Kihyun would only hold Hyunwoo’s hand when they were together. And then not at all.

Soon the word they had been scolded for was forgotten, and they were best friends. And there was that.

Then, when Hyunwoo was a freshman in High School, and Kihyun was a ‘senior’ in Middle School, they were hanging out at the older’s place, his parents out until the later evening, leaving their only kid to take care of the house. Kihyun had always thought it was amazing the older didn’t have to deal with a sibling, an older one to annoy him, or a younger one to get all the nice things.

The growth spurt had finally hit them. Kihyun was pleased to be a little bit above average (enough for him to say he’s _not short, shut up, Minhyuk)_ and Hyunwoo had turned out to be somewhat really past it. He was still growing, but he was already bigger than Kihyun in many aspects, and as it seemed so, he’d always be. Due to swimming when younger, the older male had become broader, his body more built than some other boys in his grade, some older even, and definitely broader than Kihyun. Though that wasn’t enough to have people at school get off his feet, bullying him for having small eyes, for having a chubby face, and acne. To his younger friend, he was still beautiful, but to the mean kids, Hyunwoo was just a target.

Kihyun himself had only grown to be more handsome. He didn’t have Hyunwoo’s body or height, but he had been blessed with a good-looking face. A pretty tall pointy nose, and a still chubby face that promised sharp angles in the future. His eyes weren’t wide like those of actors on TV, but they were sharp and upturned, making his gaze even more penetrating. The little hamster was soon becoming a beautiful fox right in front of Hyunwoo’s eyes, and the older wondered if Kihyun could get more beautiful, or if the heavens would take mercy on him.

They didn’t see each other as much as they’d like, since Kihyun was still in Middle School, and it took a toll on their friendship. They were still best friends, nothing would change that, and they’d hang anytime they could, but they would spend less time together before Kihyun got into High School as well.

Kihyun and Hyunwoo missed each other. It got lonely, sometimes. Hyunwoo was the shyer one, and he wasn’t as good as making friends as his best friend. He had Hoseok, and some other close friends maybe — acquaintances — and the fact the younger male was able to befriend people so easily would sometimes worry him. What if Kihyun didn’t miss him as much? What if he was the more dependent one?

But then when they did get to meet up Kihyun would smile bright, and refuse to let him go when they needed to go their separate ways. And when one of them slept over, in the dark of night and away from everyone’s sight but their hearts’, they’d hold hands. Falling asleep next to your favorite person in the world is a nice feeling.

When the next year comes, and Kihyun is finally back to seeing Hyunwoo almost every day, now a freshman in High School, they’re always by each other’s side. They always fell together well, always had a connection they couldn’t really explain. With High School also came the stage in life in which teens would talk about nothing else apart from dating, and more specifically sex. Kihyun knew. He knew the girls fancied him and that some boys envied him for being good-looking. He didn’t know exactly how to react.

And like he usually did when he had a problem, he talked to Hyunwoo. This time right after school, when they were walking home together and decided to stop and get ice cream. Kihyun had looked down at his shoes, and mumbled in a way only the older male would understand. “I don’t think I want to have sex with girls, hyung.”

He had been so quiet, and the last time Hyunwoo remembered him speaking like that had been when he broke his mother’s favorite china plate, and was scared of her reaction when she found out. He knew his best friend was vulnerable, and that he was scared of what his own words could do, so he spoke up.

“I don’t think I do either, Kihyun-ah.” He said. And the thirteen year old had looked up at him surprised, checking to make sure Hyunwoo wasn’t teasing him, before breaking into a wide smile, the dimples under his pretty eyes showing.

“So you don’t think I’m weird? Or broken?” He asks.

“Do you think I am?” The older questioned back. Kihyun took a second to think, but shook his head. “Well, then. Why would I think you are?”

The younger boy shrugged with a little smile, and he squeezed Hyunwoo’s hand gratefully as they walked side by side. He knew he could count on his best friend.

It had been relatively easier to go through his freshman year of High School after that, knowing he had the support and understanding of his favorite person. It still confused him to have all boys around him always talking about girls, not being able to relate, and it got stressing to feel like an outsider most of the time. But then… He got to hang out with the older by the end of the day. He got to feel normal again while with him.

Kihyun started feeling fond of that forbidden word once again, in a long time.

 

Time passed. Kihyun was to be fifteen, and Hyunwoo was sixteen, sophomore and junior, respectively. The situation had become even more pressuring around them. Most of Hyunwoo’s friends from his grade were already having sex, and he wasn’t, while Kihyun was feeling pressured to date, and he didn’t have eyes for anyone in the whole school. Anyone but one person.

“Jaehwan asked me out today.” Hyunwoo muttered to Kihyun when they were lying down on the younger’s bed, sharing earbuds as they listened to music. The younger glanced up at him, expecting him to go on, and so he did. “He said he’s into me or something.”

“Are you gonna go out with him?” Kihyun questions softly.

“I don’t know, Ki.” Confesses the older. “I feel like I should be at least going out with someone, you know? Everyone’s already… Doing stuff.”

Kihyun frowns at the implication.

With time, it had become clear to them that Hyunwoo was into boys and not girls. The younger had assumed that was the deal with himself too, and probably why he never felt like getting intimate with girls. But when he looked at boys, thought of them, he’d feel nothing, just the same. He didn’t know how to bring it up, or what was wrong with him. He didn’t want to be wrong.

“Do you wanna do stuff with him?” The shorter male asks quietly.

“I might.” Hyunwoo confesses.

Kihyun feels his heart clench. “Oh.”

There’s a moment of silence in between them, and it stretches until the song they’re listening to is over and another one starts. And Hyunwoo speaks up. “Do you think I should go out with him?”

“No.” Kihyun says in all honesty. “I don’t want you to go out with him.”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t like the idea of seeing you go out with someone.” He answers.

Hyunwoo is silent for a moment, in thought. “So you want me to be single forever?”

Kihyun sits up, and the earbud falls out of his ear. “Hyung. I need to talk to you about something.” He says, moving to rest his back against the wall.

The older nods slowly. Turns off the music and puts away the ipod and earbuds before sitting next to Kihyun, intimidated yet again by how much taller he’s grown than his best friend.

“Remember when I said I didn’t feel like having sex with girls? And then you said you didn’t either. And that was because you feel like having sex with boys instead.” He says slowly, and the older nods. “I thought that was the case for me too. But I… I don’t want to have sex with boys either.”

Hyunwoo frowns. Kihyun swallows around the lump in his throat. “Really?”

The younger nods, and he feels his eyes wet, ready to tear up. “I don’t know why. I mean… I’d like dating boys. I guess it’d be nice to hold hands and kiss and cuddle maybe. But I don’t know how to date boys I don’t want to have sex with when that’s what most of them want.” He shakes his head. “I think something’s broken in me.”

Hyunwoo moves to pull the younger into a hug, and he frowns in confusion as he takes in the information. He wasn’t aware this was a thing, but whatever it is, Kihyun of all people couldn’t possibly be broken.

“You’re fine.” He assures. “You can date people and not have sex with them.”

“Do you actually think so?” The younger pulls away with a dry laugh, wiping his eyes.

“I mean… I don’t see why not. People can still jerk off anyway.” He laughs, shrugging, and Kihyun has to smile along.

“You’re so silly, hyung.” He chuckles.

He sits there, picking on the bed covers and looking down, too shy to look up after confessing a part of him to his best friend. He feels the older take his hand, and then kiss the back of it, and finally looks up.

“You’re not broken, Ki. It’s alright.” He smiles. His beautiful, bright smile, that ever since they were kids would fill Kihyun’s world with stars.

“Thank you, Nu.” The younger smiles softly, and leans in to rest his head on the older’s shoulder.

 

They get closer again, the same way they had drifted apart in Middle School, but on reverse. Soon they held hands again, and Hyunwoo got to hug his younger friend more liberally, glad to have Kihyun back in his arms after so long.

He had been a senior when they finally started dating ‘again’. The younger had alleged they technically never broke up, and Hyunwoo had laughed at his logic, kissing him under the tree in the empty park behind Hyunwoo’s house, when it was late evening and no one was around anymore to snoop. It felt good, so good, to be held and hold your favorite person in the world, and kiss them like they mean it all to you, which they do. It was maybe to be all along, maybe, and they both knew.

Neither of them knew why Kihyun didn’t feel any interest in having sex with people, but it was fine even if they didn’t, since they had come to accept it, and make it work. Kihyun knew he was lucky to have found love in Hyunwoo, the older being caring and understanding, and knowing him as well as he knew himself. It felt right, ever since they were kids and Kihyun would tell off the mean bullies who made fun of his best friend for being too big.

The future became more promising, especially with the older by his side. He felt gloomy about him graduating High School and going to college next year, but they both lived in Seoul, and near enough they’d be able to meet on a regular basis. He was used to being a year behind his best friend, they were used to adapting. Kihyun was confident nothing could break them apart.

“You’re graduating in two weeks.” Mutters Kihyun, now seventeen, lying with his head on the older’s chest as they laid down on the couch in Hyunwoo’s place, his parents out for the night. “How do you feel?”

The soft hum he lets out makes his chest vibrate, and Kihyun likes the sensation under his skin. “I’m not sure.” He confesses. “I guess a bit upset I won’t be seeing you as much.” He mutters, taking one of the younger’s hands in his to play with his fingers.

“We’ll still see each other plenty. We’ll manage.” Kihyun mutters. “Don’t worry a lot.”

Hyunwoo hums again, and brings the younger’s hand to his lips to kiss his knuckles.

They lay there, the older nimbly playing with Kihyun’s fingers as he thinks about nothing in specific, when Kihyun brings up an unexpected topic.

“I’ve been thinking…” He starts. “About sex.”

“What about it?” Questions the older.

Kihyun clears his throat. “I think we could try something. Like… nothing going inside anyone though, I don’t think I’d be really okay with that. But I trust you to touch me. If you want.”

“I thought you weren’t into that?” His boyfriend asks softly, patient.

“I’ve just realized I want to be that intimate with you.” He clarifies. “I don’t feel turned on like you do, but I get hard sometimes, and I jerk off and cumming feels nice, you know? So maybe we could try it. We’ve seen each other naked when we were at the worst stages of puberty, we know everything about each other. I trust you to know how to make it nice for us.” He shrugs minimally.

“We can talk more about this.” Hyunwoo says. “If you’re really comfortable with it, we can talk and see what we’ll be doing.”

They do talk, not too long after that, and decide Kihyun’s trust in Hyunwoo really is solid enough to let him touch him intimately without feeling peeved.

Their first time is nice and a bit too fast, as it would have been expected. They sit in front of each other, Kihyun between Hyunwoo’s legs, and his own legs around his waist, and he lets the older touch him first, realizing it does feel nice, and he likes to hold Hyunwoo like he is doing. He does touch Hyunwoo after a few minutes of being touched himself, and they just mostly kiss through it, until they’re both cumming. Kihyun decides he can proceed like that.

Hyunwoo going to college does make them miss each other more than usual, but as predicted, they make it. There are arguments here and there, but they could never go past than a day without going back to talking and apologizing. It’s hard to be upset at someone you’ve grown used to seeing every day since you were kids for too long.

Life is relatively kind on them. Their relationship isn’t perfect, as any other is, but they know each other well, and the hardships can be endured when they’ve got one another. They move in together near the end of college, and get engaged right after Hyunwoo gets hired for a permanent job in his field of work. Kihyun was over the moon at the older having found a nice and stable job, and the proposal had just slipped from his lips like that, like a simple ‘good morning’ as they woke up side by side on a lazy friday morning.

Sometimes Hyunwoo would look at his fiancé and chuckle, noticing how fate really did _not_ take mercy on him. Kihyun was beautiful, head to toe. He was barely above average in height, and maybe not crazy muscular and broad like himself, but he was certain. He carried himself like he owned himself, which he did. Kihyun was certain of himself, of what he wanted, of where he was. He was Hyunwoo’s rock when the older needed grounding, and sometimes would be the kite that needed someone to hold onto so that he wouldn’t lose himself. They clicked together well, as it had always meant to be.

 

“What are you doing?” Asks a voice from behind. And Kihyun turns around to see Hyunwoo walking towards him, equally dressed in pajamas as it was barely nine in the evening of a Saturday. The younger stood by the window, observing the city outside.

Their place wasn’t big, but it was cozy, it was enough. It was home.

“Thinking about you.” Kihyun chuckles, pulling out an earbud so he can give attention to the older.

“Is that so?” Asks Hyunwoo softly, putting an arm around the younger’s shoulder and taking the earbud that’s being offered to him, putting it in his ear.

He smiles softly at the nice and calming melody of the song his fiancé’s been listening to.

They hold each other, there, looking out at the city as they listen to music and feel each other’s nice presence, probably sharing the same thoughts of thankfulness for being able to be there, together, and happy with their lives so far.

They had learned, while in college, Kihyun was what you called asexual, and that he was as normal as everyone else, but didn’t experience sexual attraction. He enjoyed orgasms, but was mostly indifferent to sex, but he liked closeness with Hyunwoo, and how nice those orgasms were when they weren’t caused by his own hands. He also thought the older looked pretty when he came himself, and liked to know he was the one causing it.

Kihyun sighs, happily, and when the next [ song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqvqwAkQRBM) starts playing, he turns to Hyunwoo and wraps his arms around his shoulders, letting him hold him back, before they start swaying side by side.

The muted sounds of their socked and bare feet against the floor, their soft breathing, and their synchronized heartbeats, everything adding to the song, to the sounds of their love. Here and there, Kihyun will accidentally bump his socked feet against Hyunwoo’s bare ones, earning a soft and amused chuckle, and he’ll receive a kiss to the forehead.

Hyunwoo sings along to the song, and Kihyun hums to it, letting his nostrils fill with the scent of his love, like baby powder, so familiar, so extremely the love of his life.

They sway side by side, giggling as they twirl around in the small living room, the lights down low, and the city lights from outside serving as their spotlight. The world could be theirs, just there, right at that moment. Everything and anything the person in their arms, the air they breathe and the blood that courses through their veins.

Kihyun kisses the older’s clothed shoulder, and his hand travels down to lace his fingers with Hyunwoo’s own, and he brings their hands to his hip, holding them there as they keep the rhythm.

Hyunwoo had always been the bigger kid, the quiet and shy one, the weird one the other kids made fun of. Kihyun had been the small one, pretty one, and as loud as it could be, even if obedient. They were maybe the perfect opposites, a jittery hamster and a calm bear, but they fit like puzzle pieces.

If you asked Kihyun how long he had known Hyunwoo for, he’d answer forever. Before he was even born. He’d say their souls had known each other for ages. And maybe they had, but in this life, they had met at the ages of four and five. They had met before they were both aware of what time was, how it worked, and how tricky it could be on them, and against all odds, they had stuck together.

Kihyun whispers, quietly, against the fabric of the older’s shirt, and Hyunwoo whispers those same words back, kissing the younger’s temple, knowing he can go through anything as long as he has this man by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Kihyun is ace in this fic, yes, but I need you guys to remember, every ace person is different. There are ace people who might be okay with penetrative sex, and then there are some who don't want anything to do with sex at all. Asexuality on itself is a spectrum. Kihyun finds himself in the further end of it, leaning more towards asexuality than sexuality, since he does not feel sexually attracted at all. Still, he experiences arousal, which is something that also depends and changes for every asexual person, no matter where they're found in the spectrum. Also, remember he's not aromantic, and that romantic attraction and sexual attraction are distinct things.  
> If you'd like to know more about this, check out [AVENwiki](http://wiki.asexuality.org/Main_Page) or if you'd like, send me something on [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/DoctorFatCat) and I'll be happy to answer your questions about it as much as I'm sure of my answers.  
> -  
> Thank you for reading! <3  
> Leave comments and kudos if you liked it, and don't forget to check out the collection for other showki fics for the #ShowkiMasterBingoChallenge


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